brutal honesty

It’s like getting punched in the stomach. That moment when it hits you that a loved one is going to die, and you are no longer in the “denial stage” of grief. I feel like I am crumpling inwards, but I suppose that is how we all feel when this kind of thing happens.

One of the worst parts is the knowledge that I am not alone. They say misery loves company? No. Misery lives off of other misery. A miserable person does NOT love the idea that everyone else in the world will most likely have the unfortunate experience of being equally miserable.

There are an infinite number of “what if”s and “if only”s. I have no idea how much longer there is, but I have a feeling there’s not much.

My “garden” has recently sucummed to disease, and while a couple of plants look like they might make a come-back, most are dying off. It’s an odd thought- putting so much effort into something that will inevitably terminate. I find myself asking what is the point- if it the ending is always the same?

I enjoy and appreciate those who post on their blogs inspirational stories- but there is something to be said as well for those stories that are completely honest.

Dealing with death is not easy. Right now, I have no “happy ending” or inspirational thoughts, only grief. I would be lying if I said that I believed that “there is always hope,” that I know I will be happy again no matter what. I am pessimistic, pissed off, sad, grieving. This is not a “feel-good” post- and I apologize if you were looking to gain something of the sort from it.

I suppose I’ll come back to this later.

Be safe, take care to tell the people you love that you love them, and don’t ever complain about those ugly wrinkles – as they say: growing old is a privilege denied to many.

Best wishes,

Amy ❤

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

The Style Voyager

Hong Kong Fashion and Lifestyle Blog.

Graphique Fantastique

Creative Lifestyle Blog | London, UK

Mixed American Life

Mixed Heritage | Mixed Culture | Mixed Identity | Mixed Parenting

Roots 4 Harley

Changing the world via perspective.

Pitter Potter Mad Gardener

Sow, Love and Nurture

Ray Ferrer - Emotion on Canvas

** OFFICIAL Site of Artist Ray Ferrer **

Audio SeXXX

Eargasms found here!

Ky Grabowski

Today is a beginning; not an end.

MUSES

All About Arts

If there is any magic in this world...

The world can be amazing when you are slightly … strange!

The Cloud Pottery

Juliet Macleod: studio potter

Talent Flush Blog

www.talentflush.com

the novel of my life

questioning humanity since 2015

MBFitzmahan

Fine Art Photography

Poems & People

what if poems could be symphonies, and people their orchestra?

WAGblog: Dum Spiro Spero

"While I breathe, I hope"

creative Therapy

unleash the healing power of art

ipledgeafallegiance

When will we ever learn?: Common sense and nonsense about today's public schools in America.

%d bloggers like this: